Donna
Donna
Welcome to the Back Stab Zone!! Meet my demon Donna!!! I swear if I had an enemy as evil as Donna I would be dead by now!! When your friend jacks you over worse then an enemy it hurts worse right? Mostly because you can't believe you are being used that way. If your enemy did it then you aren't surprise or even hurt. You just say screw them and move on!
Well I won't dog her out by telling you her name. We will call her "Donna". She lives in Victorville, California. That's all I will say for now about who she is.
Now for other details...
We have know each other for 13 years. On just about every vacation she has taken without her 3 children she has ALWAYS asked me to take care of them. I always do. She always brings me back a knick-knack of something else I am going to have to dust. Understand I hate knick-knacks. She knows this too. Anyways, that's what she gives me as payment for watching her children. So anyways, I have done this over the 8 years she has had children. She now has an 8 year old girl, 4 year old girl and a 2 year old boy.
Now...I also have three kids. In the 13 years that I have known her I only asked her TWICE to watch my kids. Not because I don't get out of town, but because I had family I could trust. She doesn't even trust her own mother or sister to watch her kids. Only one poor brother is trusted. Anyways I did ask her once to watch my kids for a weekend, but it ended up that my sister was going to be home and she could watch them for me. The second time was I was going to a class in her area and asked her to watch my baby from 8:30 am to 2pm. So in 13 years...Donna has only watch 1 of my 3 kids, ONCE!!!! I can't even begin to count how many times I have been asked to watch her kids and how many times I have. For week long trips for evenings out anything and everything.
Let's go back to when the problem started...April 2003. Donna called and told me about having money problems. She was "in trouble," she said that something from her "past caught up with her and needed $8000.00" real bad and didn't know what she was going to do. Blah Blah Blah. Now she didn't ASK for the $8000.00. However I mentioned to my friend (of 11 years then) that I had $4000.00 and if she needed it just let me know. Well a few days later she did ask me. I asked her if she wanted a personal check or should I get a cashier's check. She asked for the cashiers check. (I had to pay $10.00 to do that for her.) So when I agreed to help her she tells me the loan is for 30 days max. That they are refinancing their house and will pay me back then. No problem. She has always been on top of her game and she will keep her promise. Every time I talked to her in the next few weeks she kept me informed on the refinancing...
Let me give you a little financial history on everyone. At the time I was working from home and had a part-time job. My husband was unemployed at this time. So I was basically the sole provider in our house. My at home job was grossing me about $4000-$5000.00 per month until the company screwed me and my checks dropped to $40 when lucky (checks dropped around 8/03). My part-time job was a joke for income I maybe made $200 per month.
Donna's household. Better off then I am for sure. Husband banks $60K plus per year. She was also working, her income wasn't great, but she was able to cash her check and get paid, where as I had to save mine up to even cash them they were so small.
So 30 days came and went, but she did tell me it was only a few more weeks because they had to close some additional paper work or something. I needed the money by then. I had started to see a fall in income and need the money I had loaned her. Another 30 days came and went this time NOTHING was said. So I mentioned that we were having trouble making ends meet. Hell our ends weren't even in the same walkie talkie zones!! She told me that they were going to sell the house. When she sold the house she'd pay me back, but until then she'd make payments to me. Fine! Right at least it is something! So in July & August 2003 she made a payment of $100.00 (balance remaining $3800.00). In the months of September and October she never even offered to make a payment on the loan. Then in November 2003, when they sold their house she was to pay the remainder of the loan that was to be paid back in May 2003. Well, she only paid back $1500.00. See, she had to put a large down payment on the new house so they could make it affordable for them, buy new carpet for their house, hire a custom painter for their new house and MOST IMPORTANT...Pay for their wedding to renew their wedding vows after 10 years IN KANSAS! plus a ton of other things that she needed to do BEFORE she could pay her friend back the money she borrowed...
I still haven't begun to show how selfish she is... After the November payment she stopped making all together. By this time our finances SUCK royally! The next payment she makes is when I call her and ask to "BORROW $200.00." She says sure, just take it off of what she still owes me...Hello??? If you got $200 to loan you should have made the payment without being asked to. Am I right? So February 2004 I get $200 because I asked for it. March went by no payment...In April 2004 (yes 1 year later!) I had to ask her again for money. This time we were really in trouble. Utilities were threatening to be disconnected just a ton of stuff wrong. By now my husband is working, but I had to quit my job because of a pregnancy. So our income was small. I had to bottom line her and tell her to pay me. I told her she promised 30 days it's now a year and she hadn't made a payment since November on her own. Any other payment I had to ask for and I was tired. I needed her to pay me. Well she called the next day and said she was going to make the 4 remaining payments to me. She gave me a check for $700.00. I went to the bank to cash it and the check wasn't good. PISSED!!! I was so angry!! I called her up and asked her what's up? She says the check would be good the next day. WHY NOT SAY THAT THE DAY YOU GIVE ME THE DAMN CHECK??? Anyways my phone was due to be disconnected that day. The phone company gave me an extension. So the next day I go back to their bank (Wells Fargo) to cash the check, but they won't cash it because they have to talk to the account holder first because it is over $400.00. So they call and they aren't home. So I call their cell and tell them what's going on and they say that when they get home in like an hour they will call me so I can go to the bank again. Fine no problem. They call and tell me they are home and will be home for the afternoon. I leave straight for the bank. I now have 4 hours before my phone is to be shut off. I wait in the bank line for 45 minutes with my 5 month new baby. I get up there know the routine and they call. The teller hangs up because THEY AREN'T HOME!!!!! He tried 3 times and they didn't answer the phone. THREE TIMES! So I am pissed as hell because I NEEDED them to keep their word to me and they didn't. (THEY being her husband and her). So I am pissed as HELL. I call her house and leave a message. They call back and the excuse was THEY DIDN'T HEAR THE PHONE. They told me to go wait in line again and they would make sure to answer the phone. Problem was the bank line was twice as long as when I first arrived for the 45 minute wait. I told them no! She wanted ME to DRIVE TO THEM (45 minutes away and a half tank of gas to get CASH from them! HELLO?? Is it me or DIDN'T I ALREADY DO THEM A FAVOR AND LOAN THEM MONEY??? Why the fuck am I going to waste gas to pick up money THEY OWE ME!?!? So her husband finally drove the money down and needless to say even though THEY KNEW I had to be at the phone company office to pay by 5pm. Her husband arrived after 5pm and my phone was disconnected! SO I now have to pay reconnect fees BECAUSE THEY could PAY ON TIME!!!! Or better WITH A CHECK THAT DOESN'T BOUNCE!!! As an FYI she hasn't made a payment of $1 to me since the bad check incident in April 2004!!! Many promises to pay though.
Still I am only warming up...She still hasn't shown her true color yet!
She said in April the reason that she couldn't pay me is because all of their money was going into their wedding. See she wanted the wedding of all weddings and used my money to pay for her wedding. If I gave birth to her maybe, but since I didn't I WANT MY MONEY!!!! She actually told me that's why she hasn't paid me. Surreal huh? Anyways, the real nerve of her was when she was talking to me about her wedding cake. Now she is discussing with the woman that she owes $1400.00 to, about the $1000.00 cake that she wants. She's mad at her husband because he says they shouldn't waste that much money on a cake. HELL NO!! It's their 10 year not 25th or 50th! Besides they owe ME MONEY AND I NEED IT!!!!!! YES! she had the cake at her wedding!!! After her VERY EXPENSIVE wedding she said it was close to $15K, they went to St. Vincent for 1 week. AM I GENEROUS WITH MY MONEY OR WHAT? No joke for their honeymoon since they didn't get one before, they went to Jamaica! WITHOUT PAYING ME even a payment. The wedding was in May. Honeymoon was June and it is now September and I HAVE NOT RECEIVED A PAYMENT. .
So a month ago her husband started working for Enterprise Rental company. His boss was taking EVERYONE out for dinner @ Dave and Buster's. So she asked if I could start watching the kids @ around 4pm. "No problem!" I said besides our girls hadn't seen each other in a while and I told her to bring them over earlier before Church music practice (yes she's a woman of the lord!) and I would watch all the kids until they got back from dinner. So she brought the kids about 1pm. Now understand dinner is @ 5pm. This is a restaurant they have been to many, many times. So I thought if dinner was @ 5pm then they probably would be done about 7pm then they could play games with his co-workers (people he hates) until 9pm and they should pick up the kids around 9:30pm or there about. That is reasonable to me. So they dropped the kids off. 9:30pm rolled around and finally she called to say they were on their way. 10:30pm, 11:00pm, 11:30pm roll around not only are they here to pick up their kids, but they haven't called. So at 11:45pm her husband calls and says they are in the car and on their way. I explained to him that I needed to get sleep because MY BABY doesn't sleep through the night and he starts waking up at midnight. Suddenly he's all apologetic...they get here just after midnight, but my husband stayed up with the kids, so I could get a small amount rest. Here's the real thing. They were picking up their kids at that hour AND she was taking her kids to Disneyland the next day. Talk about HARSH!! How can you let your kids get so little sleep when they are gong to have such a big day the next day. You are probably asking..."why didn't you put the kids to bed until they arrived?" That's a good question! Well I couldn't because her oldest wets the bed. They stayed at my house right after my new carpet was installed and her daughter pissed ALL on my sleeping bags and floor and SHE DID NOT CLEAN IT UP!!!! NOR MAKE ANY ATTEMPT TO!!!!! My sleeping bag still smell like PISS and it is an expensive sleeping bag that is now ruined!!!! They new they were all going to spend the night why not bring her a Good Night diaper or something. She lets her piss on ANYONE'S bedding. She let the little girl (8 years old) pee in her grandmother's bed. She refuses to make the girl where a bedtime diaper because that's embarrassing for the little girl! I think it's more embarrassing when she let's her daughter piss all over everything and then leave us to clean it up!!!! So now I still am owed money, had to pay extra fees to have my phone reconnected, and I have to buy a new $300 couple sleeping bag. What a good friend huh? Well let me continue... Oh no I ain't done this is a Ruthless woman!
So in the early part of August she started looking for work. She needed child care. She asked me if I would watch the kids at my house because she had been hired at a company about 15 from my place. Sure I say. I am at home already and I can watch her kids. She didn't want this job because it would make her commute 50+ minutes a day one way. So before she actually started that job she got offered another job 5 minutes away from her house making over $18 per hour! She took it! Her brother was going to come up the hill and watch her kids for her. Then her brother started a job himself the first part of September. She was worried about him watching the kids still because he worked from like 11pm to 7am. When would he sleep? She said that she was looking for another day care provider and was interviewing one this weekend. So I told her, I could help them out until they found one. So on September 2, 2004, I started watching her kids. Her interview daycare lady never showed up and I continued to come the following week as well. It wasn't until the fourth week of driving up and down that damn hill everyday, I was just completely through with her. I'd get up at 5am every morning to get me ready and so that we could be there between 7:15 &7:30 each morning. I would spend until 6-6:30pm at her place. We had an agreement that I needed to be DOWN THE HILL for my prearranged engagement by 6pm every Tuesday. Why is it that I never once in 4 weeks made it on time? Because she only worked 5 miles or less away and could never make it home until 5:30 or 5:45pm. Sometimes later than that. Then I had to commute back down the hill 45 minutes sometimes more! Everyday I drove up the hill drove her 4 year old 10+ miles in HEAVY traffic to pre-school each day, then drive back to her neighbor hood in HEAVY traffic to drop her 8 year old off at school. Then I would take the 2 year old back to her house and watch him for the day. I would do the breakfast and lunch dishes (yes even the mess her & her husband left when they came home for lunch). I would make sure the house was in good shape before they got home. I would fix the kids a snack and help and review homework. I would make sure all she had to do was come home t a clean house and make dinner and spend quality time with her kids. ONLY ONE TIME in the FOUR weeks did her husband ever say THANK YOU for watching our kids. She NEVER SAID IT! NOT ONCE!!! They were paying me $100.00 a week to watch their kids. I drive a van. Gas prices in California are out of control. If I can fill up for under $2.00 a gallon. I am excited. Most time I was at about $2.05 even $2.11 per gallon at times. I would drive 117 miles PER DAY! I would have to fill up twice a week. I would put in about $70 a week in gas. You do the math! After putting $70 of gas in my car per week. I was only making $30 for spending 55 hours a week in her home. That breaks down to .55 per hour! I believe it is illegal to pay someone that little. Also she doesn't like to pay. I worked a total of 12 days out of 4 weeks and I was paid for 5 of them. WOW!!! $100.00! I spent over $220.00 in gas and she has paid me $100.00. Let's review... so far we have I am still owed money, had to pay extra fees to have my phone reconnected, and I have to buy a new $300 couple sleeping bag and I am out $120+ in gas going up and down the hill taking care of her kids. I want to mention just that on September 14th there was a fire that shut down the 15 freeway. It took me three hours to get home that night. I told her husband that it took me three hours to get him, that my baby cried for the final 40 minutes in the car. It was a VERY STRESSFUL DRIVE! Anyways the next day I was coming up the hill again and the fire was still active. There was no mention of it on the news where I lived. That's why I went up, but it was on every local channel at her house. She didn't bother to let me know that the freeway was still closed to the traffic coming down the hill still!! She could careless that it took me 3 hours to get down the hill. As long as I was there to watch her kids so she could go to work. I was pissed again!! That's the first and last time her husband thanked me for watching their kids. It took me over an hour to get up the hill!!!
Finally on Tuesday, September 21, 2004, I arrived at her home at 7:15am. 1 out of 3 kids were dressed. Breakfast hadn't been fixed and certainly not served for any of the kids and only 1 out of 2 of the lunches were packed. I was irritated because her husband had already left for work, but didn't care that his wife needed help to get out at on time let alone that it was Tuesday needed to get out to work earlier so that she could leave early and I could be on time for ONCE!!! Anyways I fixed breakfast and served (just cereal, but still more than I should be doing for .55 per hour) it. I had to find her middle child's lunch bag and fill it and get the youngest dressed then feed them all. All the while Donna is upstairs just getting ready. She comes down stairs as I am rushing with HER Kids and says, "Oh did you see the game (Monday Night Football) last night?" Now, I didn't get home until 6:45pm. I had dinner to serve for my family (because I had put dinner on before I left that morning), a baby to feed and bathe and most of all my own business (that I make more than .55 per hour on) I had orders to get out. I go to bed between 9-9:30 pm so that I can get up at 5am to get to her house on time so Donna and her husband aren't late for work! So I had exactly 2 and a half hours to spend time with my husband (who actually helps me by bathing the baby, feeding him and getting him to bed) and getting my work done. When she asked, "Did I see the game last night?" I snapped!
I replied with a great deal of resentment, "NO! I DON'T GET THE LUXURY TO WATCH TELEVISION AT THE END OF MY DAY. I SPEND 10-11 HOURS AT YOUR HOUSE AND HAVE TO GO HOME AND WORK ON MY OWN BUSINESS STILL! NO I HAVEN'T WATCHED TV IN I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG." Then I walked away. Do you know I felt guilty for responding that way. I know she was just making conversation, but to hear that I missed such a great game was irritating. To hear that I am missing out on things that are important to me like family time, work that pays and SLEEP! Irritates me!!! That afternoon she started looking for a daycare provider. This was only the SECOND time that I know of that she actually looked for a daycare provider. See the first day care provider never showed to the interview. She also didn't call to see if she were in an accident or someone died... Then there was one other time that I know of. See some lady in her church has a sister that lives near her and they asked her to watch the kids, but she had jury duty. I guess for the rest of her life!!! I thought jury duty lasted a few days a month not FOREVER!!!!!!
So this is my friend. I know you are jealous that you can't have a friend as kind as her, but trust me you can have her.
You suck as a Friend day is October 16th!!
